the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We have started to decorate penises.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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