The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
