we have pet lesbian snakes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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