So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
