So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
