And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
