if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I met the friendliest cop last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
