Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
