is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
