Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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