Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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