My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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