dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Life is so much better after having sex.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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