3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
