Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
