u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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