Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
