I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize