So drunk its hurt
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
