Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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