Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
