i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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