I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
