roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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