is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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