how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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