yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize