So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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