I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
