about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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