Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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