Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
