Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize