Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
