How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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