she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
