You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
