I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The adults are the big ones right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
