I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize