So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
