i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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