I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
