I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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