It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
