id be glad to
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
