help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize