He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
