She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
