At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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