Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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