i just google imaged poop.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
