cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
