"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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