I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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