maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
As shirtless as possible
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
