butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
