Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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