I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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