oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
