If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
