So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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