we're blogging at a bar
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
