So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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